"Thank you"

I'd be lying if I said I did not think about Kate. Yesterday would have been our anniversary, if we had not divorced. I'm blaming it on lack of trust, but her story might be slightly different. She always had a way of making herself out to be the victim, and who would not believe her what with those innocent eyes, 6' tall frame, and looks of a Swedish supermodel.

The thing about it is I learned tons from her. She wanted to be "friends" and me I could not handle that. I now know I made the right decision, with her quotes like "We don't belong together because we never had a movie moment. You know like in Disney movies." This lead her to go out with other men while her husband was in school. She did "love" me, she would make a point of telling me every time we hung up the phone. Slowly I realized I was better off without her, so I pulled away, removing her drug out of me.

Kate gave me tons of knowledge. Knowing when to listen, what to say, being there for a companion, but more importantly I learned belief in myself, and failure. Belief in myself, she never believed in me when i needed someone to just tell me good job, but she was more concerned about when her diamond was going to get bigger. Once you were gone, right, my family did believe in me but my confidence was at an all time low. Slowly I worked, and worked, success upon success. Today I know I can do anything!

Failure, how is that a gift? The thing is I failed but you learn more from losses than you do from victories. I am no longer afraid to fall, I know i can bounce back, stronger, determined, aggressive, and much much more ambitious than before. I took leaps once she was gone, I couldn't use "my family" as my excuse anymore. I was the only thing holding me back. I have been blessed with so many opportunities in the past 2 years and I would never have taken them with her, With that I do thank Kate for all that she taught me.

No tolorance left for drama!

I have been hearing people always complaining about drama in there life. How no one wants drama, how they cant find the right guy/girl, there job sucks, whatever. I say we all want drama. If we were all drama free then then we would just find something else to complain about, which causes drama. As far as dating goes your the only one in control of your dating life so I'm going with the common denominator that's "you." If we really want drama-free lives then what do you do to change it?

Smile

The other day I was shopping and ran into a girl i use to date. Instead of running over and be excited to see her, I hid, I am a master at hide and seek, i think she failed to seek. Now to be fair its a girl i dated for 6 months and it was the last girl i have dated for an extended period of time. We stopped "hanging out" when we both got to busy to make time. Friendship could have occur ed but how do you go from dating to friends? This is not an uncommon problem for me, hiding when i see people in my past. I think its because of my intolerance for the fake conversation, you know the one. You have to force a smile, and talk through you teeth like you actually give a shit what they are telling you, knowing the minute you walk away you say to yourself "bitch" or whatever fits that person. Am i the only one who despises meeting old acquaintances?

lucky! me

Recently I have been gaining weight. The is by choice and its a good thing. The problem with this is I now need to purchase some new jeans. Jeans have never been my favorite thing to shop for, I detest it really. But unless i raise my estrogen levels, or turn into an emo kid the tightness of the jeans is not going to cut it. the waist is fine, its more in the thighs and calves, a great look for all the cute females but not me. I prefer a more baggyesqe look myself.

My problem with shopping for pants is there are only 2 brands that make a 36 in. (extra long) inseam. 36 is even pushing my luck on the length. Most jeans come in a 34 and its a rarity to find longer. now the 34 might work, if i were into the Capri look, which no single straight male has ever pulled off and i don't think I'm going to attempt.

More problems occur with the sales staff, the females are a tad bit better than the males because 1. they are much easier on the eyes, and 2. they for some strange reason understand this dilemma. The guys think that by changing the shade of the denim makes them magically grow, even after telling them specifically what you need.

The last problem is with the other shoppers themselves. its Christmas time and people need to get gifts for the ones they love. Why clothes entered this I don't know but really have you ever received anything from someone you did not take back? Shoppers armed with this knowledge fell the need to buy my pants for people who barley break the 6 foot mark, I'm being generous with the height restrictions here. They will just wear them below the ass anyways so the male Capri's would work for them anyways. Unless he is a bit older and straps the waist line up to the nipples I could then see the allure of longer jeans.

Maybe for Christmas I should ask that denim manufactures make longer pants, or I just need someone with a headstrong attitude to help fish through all the other jeans, as well as people in search of making my ass look better, in a pair of finely tuned fabric.