Where do you work?

Blonde: So um... what do you do for a living?

Me: Oh me, I'm the price checker for the dollar store.

Blonde: No way. Do you get a discount on stuff?

Booster?

I was getting a fruit smootie, those things are good I tell you what.

Order Girl: "Do you want a free booster?"

Me: "Yep."

Order girl: "Which one, we have prot..."

Me: "Vodka!"

Order girl: "We don't have that."

Me: "Don't worry I brought my own, can you put it in before you mix it up? I hate it when the booze is just sitting all on the top, and i'm lazy and don't want to stir it up."

Order girl: with a look of confusion, "I dont think I can do that"

Me: "Oh! then I'll be fine without, but do you have a complaint card so I can request decent boosters?"

Typical weekend

I enjoy just going to bars and watching guys hit on girls, its better than t.v. You can interact with the people.

Here I was empty cup and all needing a refill. Bar one too many people I refuse to wait, Upstairs bar fewer people. (Also note I can't be standing alone either, there are enough guys standing around the outskirts of any bar looking at women but never actually doing anything.) Cute group of girls right in front of me, older women too boot.

Me: "How long you you ladies been waiting for drink?"

Lady 1: "ohh about 2 minutes."

Me: "2 minutes, that redamndiculious don't you girls know how to work a bar and get drinks faster?"

Lady 2: "We have patience"

Me: "Patience my dear, will not get you looking any better, nor me any more intoxicated"

I grab 2 of the girls hands and lead them down the stairs to another bar. The bartender there knew me and I had been talking with her some of the night too and I could get speedy service. The problem was There was also a guy "Joe" down at that bar i was also talking to earlier.

Joe is about the same age as these girls I'm guess 35- 38 range. Apparently because I had some girls this was his cue to come over and stand next to me. He was a lifesaver, I wasn't paying for their drinks. I introduce Joe to the 3 ladies. Drinks are coming. Just as I turn to jump back into the conversation I hear this exchange.

Joe: "You look like a cat."

Lady 1: "I don't like cats."

Me: "BWAHAHAHAHA!"

I had to leave, A. I got my drink, and B. I was pretty much done with that group after that comment. No matter what would have been said or done would fail into comparison as to calling a girl a cat, and having her respond ever so seriously to not liking them.

Truer words never spoken

"Most men are afraid of women wearing the pants in their relationship. Me, I have no problem with pants. I'm more concerned if she starts wearing a strap on."

Lust or Love?

Is it every really easy to say goodbye? Does it matter who you are saying goodbye to? Or for how long it is for? What if it is forever? Why do those people insist on coming back?

I believe in a lot of things, as well as don’t believe in a lot of things. I believe in a God, I believe that as long as there is a human will then there will never be a successful communist society, I believe many people find where they live to be unsatisfactory until they move somewhere else and end up missing where they once were, I believe that running from your problems will only cause the problems to get worse.

I don’t believe in love. I believe love as a state of emotion which can often blind people and eventually will lead to their own demise because they fail to see the truth. I believe love is just temporary happiness in some object or person. There are a lot of things or people I could say I love, but do I really? When is love truly love and when is it just infatuation and lust?

Many people I know say they’ve been in love, but how would they know? I mean, how would they truly know that they are experiencing love? Is there a handbook on what it is to feel like when you are in love? I can honestly say, and I don’t mean this in a bad or perverted way (freaks), that the only person(s) I truly love and would give my life for is my family. they are the only people in my life that, even through hardships, has helped me grow as a person and only made me stronger.

If love is such a strong and true emotion, how come it can be so easily replaced with something else? How come, for a lot of people, it can be so controllable? Maybe people just like the idea of being in love, instead of liking the true idea of love itself. Love is many things, but I believe it is true that if you are in love then there should be no room for mistrust, dishonesty, cheating, lying, etc. How come many married couples, who proclaim their "love" for one other, end up doing this?

Perhaps love is just overused. Many people try to rush to be in love, but don’t realize that isn’t the one, yet ignore the warning signs. I’ve used the word "love" once with someone that isn’t somehow related to me. I feel people use the word to loosly in an attempt to perhaps get someone to feel the same, but you can’t force this feeling. If it is forced, then it will only disappear.And when is lust and love confused? Way too much. Often times people first meet by finding the other person attractive in some way, shape, or form. This is infatuation. Then a sexual desire builds for this person to the point you would do anything to get with or be with them. This is lust. So what is love? The feeling that you would give your life to save theirs? Well, we can see that turned out well for Romeo and Juliet, and they knew each other for a matter of days.

So what about when that love is betrayed? What do you do then? Forgive and forget? Everyone knows no one truly forgets, it’ll always be in the back of the mind and someday the person might say or do something that triggers that feeling of betrayal to come back and cause them to snap.

What if it is a good friend? One you truly trusted with some of your most personal secrets? And one you were always there for through thick and thin when they’d cry about how crappy their life is? What do you do when they betray you and bury a new knife into your back, then twist it to add emphasis?I don’t know either.

I hope someone can prove me wrong.

Random thoughts

Have you ever just wanted to make an invisible box, and place a mime inside of it, just to watch him try to get out?

"As much as I love beauty, I hate stupidity, and seeing the two combines really pisses me off"

If you want to get your teeth kicked in and will be present in Utah on Aug. 30 go to the CLIFTON show. You can thank me thereand as a bonus, I will let you buy me a drink. (i'm as giddy as an asian girl in a hello kitty store for this one folks)

no money, no problem

Lets preface this by saying "yes I am pretty much an asshole" its well documented, and i really do not deny it, it's like a badge of honor.

I was at the bar this weekend, doing my usual thing of no drink talking to girls, and guys. this was one of the conversations I had with a blonde girl with way too much make-up on.

Me: "So did Avon paint your face or is that Mary Kay?"

Blonde: slightly annoyed "Its mac!"

me: "well you are borderline rodeo clown, i'd recomend taking it down a notch"

blonde: really annoyed look of disbelief on her face, awkward silence for what seems like 5 mins "ASSHOLE"

me: You know if you bought me a drink i bet I could easily mistake the shimmery eye shadow for a slight twinkle in your eyes.

blonde: smiles "ha, your funny, what are you drinking?"

thank god she bought me a drink, I was thirsty!


aaaannnnddd in unrelated news:
life is like a porno movie. no matter who you meet they're going to screw you.