Truer words never spoken

"Most men are afraid of women wearing the pants in their relationship. Me, I have no problem with pants. I'm more concerned if she starts wearing a strap on."

Lust or Love?

Is it every really easy to say goodbye? Does it matter who you are saying goodbye to? Or for how long it is for? What if it is forever? Why do those people insist on coming back?

I believe in a lot of things, as well as don’t believe in a lot of things. I believe in a God, I believe that as long as there is a human will then there will never be a successful communist society, I believe many people find where they live to be unsatisfactory until they move somewhere else and end up missing where they once were, I believe that running from your problems will only cause the problems to get worse.

I don’t believe in love. I believe love as a state of emotion which can often blind people and eventually will lead to their own demise because they fail to see the truth. I believe love is just temporary happiness in some object or person. There are a lot of things or people I could say I love, but do I really? When is love truly love and when is it just infatuation and lust?

Many people I know say they’ve been in love, but how would they know? I mean, how would they truly know that they are experiencing love? Is there a handbook on what it is to feel like when you are in love? I can honestly say, and I don’t mean this in a bad or perverted way (freaks), that the only person(s) I truly love and would give my life for is my family. they are the only people in my life that, even through hardships, has helped me grow as a person and only made me stronger.

If love is such a strong and true emotion, how come it can be so easily replaced with something else? How come, for a lot of people, it can be so controllable? Maybe people just like the idea of being in love, instead of liking the true idea of love itself. Love is many things, but I believe it is true that if you are in love then there should be no room for mistrust, dishonesty, cheating, lying, etc. How come many married couples, who proclaim their "love" for one other, end up doing this?

Perhaps love is just overused. Many people try to rush to be in love, but don’t realize that isn’t the one, yet ignore the warning signs. I’ve used the word "love" once with someone that isn’t somehow related to me. I feel people use the word to loosly in an attempt to perhaps get someone to feel the same, but you can’t force this feeling. If it is forced, then it will only disappear.And when is lust and love confused? Way too much. Often times people first meet by finding the other person attractive in some way, shape, or form. This is infatuation. Then a sexual desire builds for this person to the point you would do anything to get with or be with them. This is lust. So what is love? The feeling that you would give your life to save theirs? Well, we can see that turned out well for Romeo and Juliet, and they knew each other for a matter of days.

So what about when that love is betrayed? What do you do then? Forgive and forget? Everyone knows no one truly forgets, it’ll always be in the back of the mind and someday the person might say or do something that triggers that feeling of betrayal to come back and cause them to snap.

What if it is a good friend? One you truly trusted with some of your most personal secrets? And one you were always there for through thick and thin when they’d cry about how crappy their life is? What do you do when they betray you and bury a new knife into your back, then twist it to add emphasis?I don’t know either.

I hope someone can prove me wrong.

Random thoughts

Have you ever just wanted to make an invisible box, and place a mime inside of it, just to watch him try to get out?

"As much as I love beauty, I hate stupidity, and seeing the two combines really pisses me off"

If you want to get your teeth kicked in and will be present in Utah on Aug. 30 go to the CLIFTON show. You can thank me thereand as a bonus, I will let you buy me a drink. (i'm as giddy as an asian girl in a hello kitty store for this one folks)

no money, no problem

Lets preface this by saying "yes I am pretty much an asshole" its well documented, and i really do not deny it, it's like a badge of honor.

I was at the bar this weekend, doing my usual thing of no drink talking to girls, and guys. this was one of the conversations I had with a blonde girl with way too much make-up on.

Me: "So did Avon paint your face or is that Mary Kay?"

Blonde: slightly annoyed "Its mac!"

me: "well you are borderline rodeo clown, i'd recomend taking it down a notch"

blonde: really annoyed look of disbelief on her face, awkward silence for what seems like 5 mins "ASSHOLE"

me: You know if you bought me a drink i bet I could easily mistake the shimmery eye shadow for a slight twinkle in your eyes.

blonde: smiles "ha, your funny, what are you drinking?"

thank god she bought me a drink, I was thirsty!


aaaannnnddd in unrelated news:
life is like a porno movie. no matter who you meet they're going to screw you.

Soooo... I decided I'm going to try to gain weight again.

Lets hope this time i don't gain 50lbs get sick and lose it in 2 week.

who loses close to 50lbs in a week, well me of course, I blame it on the flu.

Or if I do lose all the weight again, lets hope i can make a journal about it bottle it up and market that, I'm sure people would love to know my weight loss secret.

Since i wanted to see if anyone else eats about the same calories as me, and wouldn't you know it there are people who also eat around about 6,000 calories a day.

Problem is these people are Olympic weigh lifters, strong men competitors, and them professional body builders.

Me on the other hand am a ninja
No wait I'm a Spartan
wait...

I'm the only Spartan ninja!

maybe ill use to here blog to post some updates on it to help keep me motivated, but i am pretty lazy soo... its a big if.

on a scale of 1 to 10 im an Eleven!

I have been watching guys fail, and fail, and fail again, at trying to hit on women. I have decided to throw them a bone here. I have 11 guidlines to follow when trying to get a woman interested in me.

1. Don't wait until she is alone to go talk to her. Her friends will always drag her away no matter how much she likes you.

2. You have 3 seconds to make you initial approach. any longer than that you will seem creepy for staring at her, or you will talk yourself out of it.

3. Just because there are men does not mean they are her boyfriend.

4. Using "excuse me," "I'm sorry," or any other apologizing phrase makes you sound like a beggar.

5. Don't use the same generic compliment, chances are she has heard it, and is really quite bored with it. Open more with something that will spark conversation, and also can be used if a group is around her. People do have opinions and amazingly, enough they love giving them.

6. Don't buy her a drink, you shouldn't have to pay for her attention

7. Don't touch or grab right away, if she touches you pull back a little make HER work for it.

8. Don't lean over her, stand up straight. If she cannot hear you speak up, make her lean into you.

9. Don't rattle off the same questions: "what's your name?" "what do you do for a living?" boring every other guy has asked her these, your not every other guy.

10. If she is in a group, focus more on her friends for the first 5 - 10 minutes, if you win over her friends, you will win her.

11. Don't be afraid to violate any of these guidelines, once you understand them and why they exist.

Geomotry

Its always difficult to know where exactly to start. When drawing i know everything is a shape with more shapes around it, so you start with the biggest shapes. I recently started sketching again. I looked over my old sketchbook, and found all the drawing of when i was going through a divorce. I guess this was a starting point seeing as how it was where i left off.

Back then it was my journal, my emotions ran like a pendulum, my way of expressing.

I would sketch what i felt, wilted rose with petals all on the floor one petal hanging on still. things like this gave hope, but also you could see not much. I would draw beautiful scenes, pictures and hours later go back and run red sharpies through things. Looking at the book i relived almost every conversation, every meeting, every feeling, every emotion.

Guess true art come from heartbreak

I had to stop, it was my outlet, but needed an outlet from my outlet. Escape was a paradox. I had passion, love, hate, anger and everything, but could not separate between the person i was drawing about. I did not want to grow to hate art also.

A year later, I have new paper, new pencils, new red sharpies, and new shapes. Perhaps this time around the heart shaped pieces will be complete.